Dear Speedball,

by Keith McGuffey on June 24, 2013 in Letters to Superheroes

Dear Speedball,

Googling you, I see that you are the most deadly superhero ever. You’ve killed so many great people. Chris Farley, John Belushi, that guy from JAG, Mitch Hedberg, half of Kris Kross, Joaquin Phoenix’s brother, the 1996 National League MVP, Hillel, the guy from Alice in Chains, and King George V.

Either that, or you’re stupid enough to name yourself after a drug.

Please stop being a superhero,
Keith McGuffey

About Keith McGuffey

Exposed to dangerous levels of toxic radiation after his home planet exploded, Keith McGuffey’s spaceship crash landed on Earth! Developing super powers derived from his connection to the mystical Amethyst of Kashyyyk and trained in martial arts by his mysterious sensei Stalk, Keith McGuffey would grow up to become… Keith McGuffey!

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