Letters to Supervillains Special: Dear Green Goblin,

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Dear Green Goblin,

What is up with your ridiculous getup? I don’t mean the purple elf costume.  I mean the horrible metal Power Ranger deal from the movie.  You look like green Ultraman. On what planet is ‘giant metal codpiece’ a good fashion choice?  Why the weird trident deal?  A supersonic glider that shoots missiles, pumpkin-themed grenades that reduce men to skeletons, and a trident? Do you expect to do battle with the king from The Little Mermaid? Do you seriously expect to beat a man with the proportionate strength of a spider in one on one combat with a trident?

But really I think you’re one of the coolest supervillains ever.  Killing Spider-Man’s girlfriend? Awesome! 30 years of Spider-Man stories revolving around that one act. I just can’t understand why you would wear a costume that makes you look even worse than that flamboyant Keebler elf costume.

Yours,
Keith McGuffey

About Keith McGuffey

Exposed to dangerous levels of toxic radiation after his home planet exploded, Keith McGuffey’s spaceship crash landed on Earth! Developing super powers derived from his connection to the mystical Amethyst of Kashyyyk and trained in martial arts by his mysterious sensei Stalk, Keith McGuffey would grow up to become… Keith McGuffey!
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