The Geektastics

  Dear Dazzler, I’m going to keep this short, because there’s a lot to make fun of you for and I don’t typically write novels. Is there a suckier power than yours?  Turning sound into light just seems like it would never be useful outside of a cave.  And even then, there’s a flashlight on […]

Dear Dr. Manhattan (‘s penis), Lately, Facebook has been showing only the crotch of the superheroes associated with my blog.  I’ve decided that I should retaliate by writing to a superhero whose entire power is wrapped up in his junk. Seriously.  They spent how many millions of dollars painstakingly and meticulously animating your penis, but […]

  Dear Angel, Is it hard being the weakest link of the X-Men?  Your only superpower is flight, and not even like supersonic flight or anything, you have like pigeon flight as a power.  Your main power is a secondary power. Your only power is a footnote on other characters.  Like Rogue is super strong […]

  Dear Cyborg, What is up with that costume? We get it, you’re half robot, but why the metal garter belt? Did the part of your brain that took care of dressing you get destroyed when you became a superhero? You look like how Dennis Rodman would look if he were a robot bride (so […]