The Geektastics

Dear Guardian, What’s wrong with the name Captain Canada?  I mean, Captain America and Captain Britain are named that because they wear their flags all up on their bodies, but you just go with Guardian?  Even Red Guardian kinda makes sense because he’s from Russia and it’s like communism and whatnot.  Is it because you’re […]

Dear Optimus Prime,   Do Transformers need gasoline? And if you do: 1)    Do you need the really expensive kind? 2)    How do you pay for it? 3)    Were Transformers always built with a tank that’s the right size for our gasoline nozzles, or did you have to adapt? 4)    Will old-timey gas station attendants […]

Dear Iron Fist, I’d first like to know how white guys who study karate for like 20 minutes are so damn good at karate. You, Batman, Karate Kid, Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai. There’s got to be some kind of conspiracy going on there. Speaking of Batman, I’m upset that you didn’t go the […]

Dear Raven, Why no pants? I’ll never understand why heroines will cover their entire upper half, then go around with no pants. That girl from Gen 13 does it, Ms. Marvel used to do it, and I just don’t get it. You have a cloak, but no pants. I’ll also never understand why you need […]

Dear Lion-O, There are so many things wrong with your look. Mostly stemming from the fact that only your abs are showing.  It’s like a weird bikini. I never understood the underwear with boots combo thing that you have going on either. And the baby blue isn’t very flattering. Do cat people even need clothes?  […]