Dear Ray Fillet,

I always thought you were the coolest of the Mighty Mutanimals when as a kid, because manta rays are awesome.  I like the big, brooding shoulder wing dealies and the devil tail, too. Plus you’re clearly super strong and can live underwater. You’re like Aquaman if he was a manta ray.

All that aside, I think there’s some things we need to discuss. First off, is that yellow part a women’s gymnastics leotard that you’re wearing?  And if not, why do you wear boots but no other clothes?  And how useful are sweatbands to someone that lives underwater?

Also, please give the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles my contact info.  I’ve always wanted to eat weird pizzas with them.

Yours,
Keith McGuffey

Dear Mr. Terrific,

Being invisible to technology sounds cool, but I think it provides you with some very crippling everyday weaknesses.  How do you use gas station bathrooms?  Or do you just never wash your hands?  How do you get into grocery stores with automatic doors?  Can you use an IPad?  Will Siri listen to you?  That’s a stupid question, Siri never listens.  And I think if I was looking for the guy that was invisible to technology, I would just look for the blank spot on Google Earth and shoot that spot.  And what about when Rocket Red is aiming his rockets at something but his sensors don’t pick up that you’re in the way and you get shot with a rocket?  It just seems like a lot to give up for what is a very limited version of Invisible Woman powers.

And how can Red Tornado see you? Since he’s an android? And how does the airlock on the JLA watchtower know to open up for you?  And can you use the microwave?

It’s just a lot of stuff that confuses me. Me, who understands why the Hulk’s pants are always purple.

Yours,
Keith McGuffey

Dear Thing,

I have the same question for you that they did in the movie Mallrats.

Is your junk a rock too?

I assume it has to be since all of you is rock and you’re modest enough to wear man panties. What is your blood made of, some sort of liquid rock. For that matter, what is anything that comes out of your penis made of?

Do you shed like a turtle molting it’s shell? If the Baxter towers restrooms need new tile, does Mr. fantastic send a robot out to buy it or do they use peeled off scutes of orange rock to line their countertops? I hope it’s the former, because the latter sounds disgusting, both from a biological perspective and an interior design one.

If you get hurt, is it like that episode of star trek where that creature that burrows through rock gets injured and Dr. McCoy patches it up with quick dry cement instead of a bandage? When your unconscious ass gets hauled into the ICU, do any of the doctors ever say “Dammit man I’m a doctor not a bricklayer!”

Yours,
Keith McGuffey

Dear Hawkgirl,

I’m still really disappointed that you were used in the Justice League cartoon. You’re one of the few superheroes that can make people say, “Man, I really wish Aquaman was on this team instead.”  You’re easily the worst member of the team, because you only have one gimmick: Hit with mace.  Burglary at bank? Hit with mace.  Giant Cthulu monster attacking city? Hit with mace. Political tensions with foreign dictator at UN? Hit with mace. Missile hurtling towards Gorilla City? Hit with mace.

And I know what you’re thinking. “But Keith, surely you just make up ridiculous situations to prove how inept a superhero can be in said ridiculous situation.” But that last one is actually from an episode of Justice League.

Rarely does hit with mace attack actually work.  I can count on one hand the number of enemies you actually defeated in your time with the Justice League.  And one of those guys was Solomon Grundy, who came back to life like 4 episodes later. Batman did more throwing a spread of batarangs at Brainiac clones* than you did in 5 seasons.

Isn’t Hawkwoman a better name for you?  Especially for those times when the universe restarts and you’re married to Hawkman?  I’m just saying it’s creepy.  Invisible Woman made the change and so should you.  Or better yet, define your as some other bird of prey woman instead of being a character obviously created to go along with the male hero. Here are some ideas of names that still sell the bird/female thing:

Lady Osprey
The Cardinal Chick
Madam Falcon
Mrs. Eagle
Ostrich Woman
The Female Fowl
Lark Lass
Vulture Vulva

I’m REALLY sorry about that last one. That’s terrible. I was thinking about alliteration and that came out. Oh my god.  That’s awful. I could erase that, but that’s really funny in the most terrible way.

Yours (and sorry again),
Keith McGuffey

*In the season 2 episode “Twilight”. How is he so accurate with those things?!

On this episode of Top Gear . . . Richard checks his suspension, Jeremy does magic, and James gets something in his eye.

Image: BBC

Review:

James reviews the Caterham 620R and the Caterham 160

Caterham 620R

Stats:

• £50,000
• 310 horsepower
• 545 Kg (better power/weight ratio than a Bugatti Veyron)
• 0-60 in 2.8 seconds
• 1:22.3 (w)

Caterham 160

Stats:

• £17,000
• 80 horsepower
• 3 cylinder turbo charged Suzuki engine
• Super skinny tires
• Top speed 100
• 50 miles to the gallon
• 1:45.5 (w)

James also drove the Caterham AeroSeven (Concept)

News:

• Corvette museum sinkhole
• Texas motorway gantry sign prank
• Jeremy gets a wax figure in Madame Tussuad’s
• Porsche GT3 catching on fire, Richard just bought one and Jeremy got him GT3 branded “driving gloves” (oven mitts) – Jeremy attaches pizzas to Richard and heats them with a blowtorch

Review Film

Jeremy reviews the Alfa Romeo Disco Volante

Stats:

• Built by Touring, a company that built custom coaches
• 440 horsepower 4.4 L Masarati V8
• Carbon Fiber/Aluminum body
• Top speed – 181 mph

Star in a Reasonably Priced Car

Jack Whitehall – never driven before, 1:54.5

Review Film

Richard reviews the Mercedes G-Wagen 6×6 in United Arab Emirates

 Stats:

• £370,000
• Originally built for Australian army
• 37 inch wheels
• Weighs 3 3/4 tons
• 5 1/2 L 536 horsepower AMG Twin Turbo V8
• 560 lb feet of torque
• 0-60 in under 6 seconds
• Two fuel tanks – switch between tanks using an overhead switch
• Pulled by police because the officer wanted to check out the car
• Can ford a meter of water
• Empty Quarter – 50 C, dunes 800 feet high
• Power split 30-40-30 across the axles
• 5 locking diffs (each switchable independently)
• Overhead switches to deflate and inflate tires for off-road needs

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This post contains spoilers for the “The Walking Dead” Episode 4.12.  If you do not want to be spoiled, DO NOT read on!

Episode 4.12: Still

Written by Angela Kang

Directed by Julius Ramsay

We get another character specific episode this week; this time we’re focusing on Daryl and Beth.  They spend a terrifying night locked in a trunk as waves of walkers approach the car.  Not surprisingly, they stay away all night and are finally able to get out in the morning when the crowd of walkers has dissipated.  They go into survivor mode immediately, stripping the car and the surrounding area for valuable supplies.  Once in the woods, they set up their camp.  Daryl tries unsuccessfully to kill a squirrel, but has better luck with a snake – resulting in a pretty disgusting snake gutting and eating scene.  Daryl is chowing down on that snake, right?

Beth decides she needs to try alcohol, since she’s never tried it before.  I’m pretty sure she expected Daryl to be 100% behind her on this, but I can’t see a scenario where going on a run for a non-essential item like alcohol is a good idea.  Daryl basically tags along because there’s no way Beth is going to make it on her own, and he feels responsible for her.  They try their luck at a country club, only to find that a group had holed up there before apparently turning on each other.  There’s some gross hanging zombies reminiscent of the second season and a large pile of bodies in a back room underneath a handwritten sign that says, “Welcome to the Dogtrot”.  Clearly, there were some class issues as well, as a particularly disturbing image appears in the pro shop.  A women’s head and torso have been attached to the lower half of a mannequin and a sign was hung around her neck reading “Ritch Bitch”.

After discovering the bar, Beth sees that the only liquor left is a half-empty bottle of Peach Schnapps.  Daryl is determined that her first drink will be something stronger, and leads her to a house he had previously discovered on a run with Michonne.  It is a still, a house almost expressly used for making moonshine.  Beth encourages Daryl to drink with her by involving him in a drinking game, Never Have I Ever.  The game starts innocently enough – Daryl has never been out of Georgia or on vacation.  But, when Beth says that she’s never been in jail, Daryl becomes defensive and confrontational.  Beth doesn’t back down, and we learn that Daryl is grieving the loss of their group and feels guilty about not trying to find the Governor.  He weeps and is embraced from behind by Beth.  They end the night talking about their siblings and Daryl reveals what he was doing before the epidemic – nothing.  He followed Merle around and let his older brother dictate what they would be doing.

This episode was devoted to fleshing out two characters that are still a mystery to most of the audience.  We’ve been able to watch Daryl’s significant character development over the past three seasons, but we know little about his background.  The writers have included hints that his childhood was rough, but the revelations in this episode have shown conclusively that life is actually better for Daryl now, than it was prior to the epidemic.  His insecurities are laid bare and he expresses to Beth that he was “nothing” before, indicating that he found his purpose in the group.  Now that the group is gone, he is foundering.  Beth appears to be the one thing that keeps him going.

Beth was a fairly thin character before this season.  She was mostly known for singing and taking care of Judith, but she has been the strong, motivated one in this duo and her strength is a surprising development.  She is convinced that there are other survivors and wants to keep looking for them, despite Daryl’s pessimistic attitude.  I believe that she was less invested in actually getting alcohol than prompting Daryl to help her with a task to keep him going.  Hopefully, they will continue to make Beth a well-rounded character so that she does not experience the same fate of Lori and Andrea.

This storyline is prompting many fans to speculate that the writers are developing a romance between Daryl and Beth.  Certainly, the two have had much more alone time on screen than the other fan-favorite ship, Carol and Daryl.  I think, at this point, it could go either way.  The two have chemistry and now have a bond, but if a romance does develop, I hope that it takes more time to manifest.  I also hope that the group reunites soon.  It appears that the next episode will focus on the other scattered survivors, so I’m crossing my fingers for a reunion in the following episode.  I think it would be a mistake to drag out the separation until the season finale.

Norman Reedus and Emily Kinney did a great job in this episode, which is no small feat, considering that the entire episode focused on their characters.  Reedus in particular did a wonderful job conveying the range of emotions Daryl goes through, and I hope that he gets to display this range more often in the future.

The Best Bits:

All of Norman Reedus’s scenes.  He did an amazing job!

The Best Kill(s):

Daryl wailing on the walkers in the country club was awesome!

Is a romance on the horizon for Daryl and Beth?  When will the group reunite?

AMC’s 2014 Best Picture Showcase

Has the Best Picture Showcase spoiled movie-going for us? Do we only want to see Best Picture Nominees now? Or has it just been so cold this winter that we haven’t gotten out as much? Could be a little of both, but the fact is that we’ve only seen one of the nominated movies this year! To be totally honest, the best movie I saw this year (or the one I liked the most) is one that would never even be considered for nomination in any category. So, if you haven’t seen The Way, Way Back, get to Redbox, or Amazon, or Netflix, or however you see movies these days and watch it! What are you waiting for? Get!
Okay, now we can talk Oscars…

Philomena

She Said:

In a long line of Oscar nominated movies based on true stories, Philomena follows the story of a teenage mother forced to give up her baby in a very Catholic 1940’s era Ireland. Fifty years later she (with the help of a once respected, now maligned journalist) traces her son from his adoption in Ireland to America, only to find him right back where she started. Judi Dench portrays Philomena Lee as a very “blue-collar” woman, unapologetically without formal education or sophistication. We watch her entertain a very sophisticated journalist with stories from romance novels and enjoy her innocent, guileless observations of life (as well as American television and eating habits). However, Philomena proves to be the more intelligent of the two when it comes to human nature and behavior, teaching even an old cynic that forgiveness may be difficult but very necessary. As Philomena tells a nun who kept information about her son from her, “I forgive you because I don’t want to remain angry.” And in a scene with the reporter says, “But I don’t want to hate people. I don’t want to be like you. Look at you.”
His reply, “I’m angry.”
And her quiet retort, “Must be exhausting.”

So true. And by the way… the old cynic… me.

He Said:

The journalist was a jerk and I never came to like him. Philomena showed how someone with faith could also be accepting of others. She also showed that it is not always those that wear their faith on their collar that are truly walking in the ways of the Lord. And the journalist was still a jerk…

Dallas Buyer’s Club

She Said:

Because of his extreme physical transformation, Matthew McConaughey may come away with a statue this evening. And maybe he even deserves it. Although not a huge McConaughey fan (settle down, ladies), even I have to admit he portrayed a drug-addled partying womanizer well. Hmmm… maybe not such a stretch? I’m just saying. It is amazing, however, how pharmaceutical companies and the FDA have control over those attempting to live with dignity or just struggling to stay alive.

Jared Leto also went through a drastic physical change and gives an extremely strong performance as a transgender woman living with HIV/AIDS. And I still remember when Jordan Catalano was making us all jealous of Angela Chase in “My So-Called Life”.

He Said:

Matthew McConaughey looked like hell, I mean, how can you lose all that weight and not win a best actor Oscar, right? This movie depicted the misunderstandings and attitudes many had of HIV at that time and the prejudices and judgments that came with it. Good character development, you came to care for each of the characters in different ways, but I cared the least for McConaughey’s character. He was such a blow-hard.

The Wolf of Wall Street

She Said:

Over the top is the best phrase I can come up with for this movie and the performances in it. Based on Jordan Belfort’s book about his lavish life and crimes, I have to wonder why a person that cheated people out of money gets to make money on them, not twice but three times. He took their money, wrote a best-selling book, and is now making money (as well as kudos from the movie industry) on the movie. Crazy? Or just part of the culture now in which we reward questionable people for bad behavior?

Oh sure, it was entertaining. I just have a hard time rootin’ for it.

He Said:

Just bothers me that this is another example of rewarding someone for bad behavior. Full of immoral behavior and depravity, you know it’s bad when a guy like me is saying, “Someone needs to stop this guy!” I think if it weren’t for the names (DeCaprio and Scorsesee) attached and big budget, this would’ve been Weekend at Bernie’s.

Twelve Years a Slave

She Said:

Set twenty years before the Civil War begins, a free black man is kidnapped and forced into slavery. It is a powerful, true story of survival and doing whatever it takes to stay alive in the face of extreme cruelty, stripped of family and freedom while attempting to hold on to one’s dignity. Clearly a serious subject and one, in my humble opinion, that deserves the Oscar.

Chiwetel Ejiofor gives an extremely strong performance, portraying Solomon Northrup as an intelligent, distinguished gentleman who, in spite of the odds, refuses to give up the hope that he will once again gain his freedom. To get an idea of his range as an actor, check out Kinky Boots, another movie based (albeit a little more loosely!) on a true story. Again, Ejiofor gets my vote for Best Actor.

And don’t count out Lupita Nyong’o as Patsey for Best Supporting Actress. Her amazing performance of a woman attempting to maintain her own self-respect, as she is time and again stripped of every modicum of dignity, was exceptional. Oh, and can you tell that I liked this movie? I couldn’t wait to discuss it with my 5th graders who are now studying the Civil War (well, age-appropriate parts anyway).

He Said:

WTF? People actually kidnapped people from the north to be slaves?! Had no idea, and this movie made me want to read more about this tragedy. Epic story, serious beatings and such a great portrayal. My vote for best movie and best supporting actress.

Nebraska

She Said:

I’m not going to win any popularity contests in a state where Alexander Payne is a home-grown hero, but this was probably my least favorite movie in the Showcase. I actually wondered why it was nominated, to be honest. The performances of the main actors were wonderful, particularly that of Bruce Dern; however, the “extras” (such as the son’s girlfriend , an aunt, and one of the cousins) seemed as though Payne pulled people off the street and asked them to say a couple of lines. The black and white film, while adding to the grim story of a stubborn, cantankerous old man bent on collecting a non-existent prize, in a way also added to the slow nature of the film. I realize it was meant to capture the crumbling economy of the heartland and the wasted lives and opportunities of the common man; however, I couldn’t help comparing (and contrasting) it to the scenery shots of Hawaii in The Descendents. Still, I enjoyed the dark humor and could relate to the story of the adult child – parent relationship in which the one thing the child wishes for, and works so hard to obtain, is the one thing they will never receive… the love of their parent.

He Said:

Sorry, not my favorite of the movies this year. I had high hopes for it, and the mother (June Squibb) had some funny lines, but the movie ran slow and the scenery could have been much better if not in black and white. But, that may have been the purpose because it seemed to support a typical view of the middle of the country as being “fly over” states. Not great acting throughout. I understood what they were trying to do, it just fell flat for me.

Captain Phillips

She Said:

Who doesn’t love Tom Hanks? I mean, he’s just inherently lovable! Here he portrays a heroic Captain Phillips, ready to risk his own life to protect his crew. The movie keeps you involved and on the edge of your seat, and the fact that it is based on a true story is captivating as well. This is a good film with fine performances; however I have heard some reports from actual crew members that contradict the events depicted in the movie (we’ve seen a couple of short documentaries on the subject). We are all aware that things may be changed or added for dramatic effect, so I will just enjoy it for its entertainment value, withholding judgment on its voracity until I can read the book or learn more about the actual events.

Scary to think things like this can happen in real life, and revealing of how people in other countries sometimes must live and, many times, survive.

He Said:

I watched a documentary on this and events were crunched together and a little inaccurate but it was a good ride. I don’t see myself shipping freight around the Horn of Africa anytime soon. Oh, and not a single parrot, or eye patch in the whole movie! Arrrrr?

Her

She Said:

Sadly, I can actually see the premise of this movie coming to fruition. How many times have you looked up at a person expectantly upon hearing them ask a question or make a comment, only to discover they were actually talking on the phone? Each day I sit with a group of co-workers who eat lunch with their phones, constantly checking their email or looking something up that has been brought up in a conversation. Instant gratification of what Adam Levine’s lower torso “v” looks like or who a particular actor in a movie was. Important stuff like that. In a time of social media “friends” and a dependence on technology, is it that far a stretch to believe that one day people will develop “relationships” with their online services? Scarily enough, I can see it. The very near future holds intuitive computers that conform to our needs, such as lights that turn off and on as we enter a room, video games that carry on conversations with us, and people who will write our personal letters for us (or dictate as a computer writes them anyway. Unfortunately, none of us will be able to read the computer’s cursive writing! I guess the script writer didn’t take the state of our educational system into consideration). Oh, and evidently fashion in the future will dictate that men will sport porn – staches and extremely high-waisted pants.

He Said:

This is where we are going folks! People love their phones and this goes to the next level. It also confirms the beginning of Skynet and Terminators for me. I’m telling you, in the future, when you hurt your phone’s feelings, your toaster might kill you in your sleep! Just what I need, another life form that I have to worry about offending! At least we will all be dressed like Steve Urkle with a porn-stache, so there’s THAT to look forward to…

American Hustle

She Said:

This movie is a fictional story that takes place in a real event. Figure that one out! Christian Bale’s comb-over is a marvel of engineering and hairspray rivaling Donald Trump’s. Maybe that should be a new category. Jennifer Lawrence plays crazy better than most, like someone who can’t hide her own crazy! But I still think the dramatic performance of Nyong’o deserves the Supporting Actress award. Besides, Lawrence won last year for crazy!

It was entertaining and held my interest, unfortunately as the second to the last movie in a day long movie watching experience, I was more than a little antsy. Sorry, Sam!

He Said:

What a hot mess these people were. Christian Bale’s hair was its own character for me, I was mesmerized. I know crazy, and Jennifer Lawrence plays good crazy in this. Crazy hair + Crazy women= American Hustle!

Gravity

She Said:

This was the only nominated movie we saw prior to the Best Picture Showcase. It was the last film of the Showcase, and to be honest, if it were left to me, I probably wouldn’t have stayed. Not that it wasn’t good, it was! It’s just that sitting through five movies in one day is difficult, no matter how good they are! But Sam wanted to stay, so… you know I can’t say no to him! Besides I had to make it up to him for fidgeting so much through American Hustle!

The special effects are phenomenal and deserve an Oscar in that category. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend seeing it in 3D, one of the few movies for which I think that particular feature makes a difference. However, I’m not sure I would have picked this one out for a Best Picture nomination. Sandra Bullock does a good job as a scientist-turned novice astronaut who fights to survive in a situation for which she is not fully prepared. Be forewarned, the entertainment value far outweighs the plausibility factor (e.g. Sam asked me why Bullock was taking off her space suit at one point, and I replied, “Because she looks like that!”).

He Said:

Second time I saw this one, and I still caught myself mentally reaching out to help Sandra Bullock grab hold of anything to keep her from floating off into space. This movie keeps you tense almost throughout. Don’t know why it was nominated other than big names (Bullock & Clooney), but what a ride!

So, will I be watching The Academy Awards tonight as these talented people pick up their awards (or clap politely for those picking up their awards)? Are you kidding? Don’t you know it’s Sunday? Don’t you realize what’s on tonight? I will be curled up under my electric throw on this frigid evening, happily watching the diseased prey on the lives of others. Oh yeah, and the zombies too. It is “Walking Dead” night… and I still haven’t gotten over last season’s killing of Hershel!
No worries, though. We have The Oscars scheduled to record on the DVR so we can fast-forward to the good parts! No popcorn for me though, just the thought of it… bleh.

Welcome to my first giveaway of the year – and I’m doing it in style!  Want to win an amazing album by an all-male a capella group? Me too!  I’d like to introduce you to the Cresendudes!

(c) Crescendudes

Founded in 2005 with an equal mix of X and Y chromosomes, we are the oldest and only all-male a cappella group on the UCF campus.

3^rd place regional winners of the 2008 International Collegiate Championship of A Cappella (ICCA) and winners of Best Choreography for the 2008 and 2009 ICCA South Quarterfinals, the Crescendudes are a dynamic bunch of laid-back guys at the University of Central Florida who enjoy harmonizing, joking, and getting distracted for a few hours a week at the expense of their GPAs.

A close-knit yet very open group, the Crescendudes encourages interaction with audiences and members in a fusion of performance, entertainment, and fun. Rehearsals are built around member schedules and e-mail communication is imperative. If you are interested in joining us, having us perform, recommending a song, or just want to comment, please feel free to write us.

Webpage | Facebook | Youtube | Twitter

Want to win the album? Of course you do! …but I’m going to make you work for it by reading my interview with them first (you’ll be quizzed on it later!)

1. What is the glue that holds your group together? We’re all very different people with different ambitions and backgrounds, but when it comes down to it, we’re all a bunch of college guys who love to sing!

2. How many are currently on your roster? 16!

3. What is the best method of campus transportation? Walking, Bicycling, Tardis, or Bat Mobile? We had to vote on this one – and our answer was tied. Our two answers are as follows – Tardis (You’ll never be late to class), and The Imperial Star Destroyer Executor (Because Reasons.)

4. What is your most requested song? What is most difficult to sing? Most requested? People ask us to do “Fat Bottomed Girls” all the time. Most difficult? We don’t have a specific answer for that – many of our songs are really quite complex, and it’s these types of songs that are hardest.

5. Which is the best Avenger: The Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, or Thor? The answer was a resounding “Nick Furry!”

6. Do you take requests? If so: Bohemian Rhapsody. Thank you. Yes. No. (That song is… stupid hard. Thanks, but no thanks )

7. What is the worst on-campus food? The gum under the desks.

8. Star Wars or Star Trek? You almost caused the group to break up over this one; it was a tough decision, but we decided with Star Wars: one of our members dresses up as a Jedi on the weekend. For fun. So we had to go for Star Wars

9. How does your group keep up with its members as they graduate? Trick Question. We can’t get rid of them.” Most of them are around the UCF area, and they come to our events! We hang out quite a bit.

10. What is your group’s favorite off-campus location to perform? Croatia. Just… Croatia.

11. What is the background of your group’s members? What drove them to join your group? And how diverse are the majors of study in your group? We come from everywhere. We have members from in-state and out-of-state. We have a diverse major-base. Engineering, Education, Hospitality, Film, the list goes on and on. Fun fact: we only have one music major!

12. You are gathering your group for an epic quest through Middle Earth. There is room for one more in your group, it is mandatory that another member is chosen. Which do you choose? An emotionally unstable elf that is known as the best “lock-pick, wife woo-er, and general elf of ill repute”, an agoraphobic wizard that specializes in nun-chucks, an egotistical dwarf that deals in information, a human ship captain who was bewitched to think they are an ent, an archer that is a bipolar hobbit, or an whiny teenage half-elf/human just beginning to learn the ways of the forest?  Our music director (whom we love very much) is pretty much already “a whiny teenage half-elf/human just beginning to learn the ways of the forest.” He’s worked out for us so far, so we chose him!

Okay, did you catch all that?  Good! Now let’s win some free stuff!

The giveaway last’s until March 26th.  There are some entries you can do more than once… so, get to it!

(c) Crescendudes

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Dear Matter-Eater Lad,

How low are the standards in the Legion of Superheroes that they let a guy who’s power is to eat anything? And it’s not really even a power, since everyone on your planet can do the same thing.  Why would anyone bring you on a mission? Wouldn’t it be easier for them to just keep you on retainer and then when there’s some super evil device that they can’t destroy they just beam you in to eat it?

You have basically the same weakness as a zombie. If you can’t bite me, then you’re just a normal guy. And judging from the latest season of Walking Dead, only the lowliest of background characters are allowed to be eaten.

How do you handle normal crime? A guy swipes a lady’s purse, Superman swoops in to punch him in the throat and teach him a lesson about how stealing isn’t the American way.  Cat stuck in a tree, Flash runs to nearby pet store to pick up some cat treats to lure out cat.  Someone steals a candy bar, do you eat his face, or do you eat the candy bar? Both seem pretty wrong.

How often does the decision of whether or not to eat a living person to save the day come up?

Yours,
Keith McGuffey

On this episode of Top Gear . . . Jeremy dies of radiation poisoning, Richard eats his sun visor, and James kills a bird.

Photo: BBC

Review:

Jeremy reviewed Denmark’s first car, the Zenvo STI.

Stats:

• 1086 horsepower
• 6.2 L V8 supercharged AND turbocharged
• 233 mph
• No traction control in Sport or Race mode
• £800,000
• Lap Time: 1:29.9 (w)

News:

• Porshe 918 Hybrid – Richard will be reviewing it later in the season and predicts it will beat the MacLaren Hybrid’s lap time
• Floods in Britain
• Lamborghini is replacing the Gallardo with the Haracán
• Government fixing the speed limit at 60 mph to reduce Nitrogen Oxide production

Challenge:

Prove that a 1 L 3 Cylinder car can be fun to drive

Richard – Ford Fiesta (with ecoboost engine)

Jeremy – VW Up!

James – Dacia Sandero

The Events

Drive From Hell

Drive 750 miles from the Livadia Palace in the Crimean Peninsula to the northwest border of Ukraine and Belarus

The guys keep them selves busy with instructional audio tapes.

Jeremy – Teach Yourself Ukrainian

Richard – Learn to Play the Blues Harp

James –  Magic for Beginners

Fuel Race

Run out of fuel on the road from Kiev to the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone before entering the radiation contaminated area

Jeremy – Ran out of fuel just past the reactor

• Increased weight with rocks
• Maximum revs
• Turned on all electrical extras
• Opened hatch and driver’s door to increase drag

Richard – Ran out of fuel outside of Chernobyl

• Sealed gaps with duct tape to prevent radioactive dust from entering the car
• Zig zagged to increase milage (pulled over by Ukrainian police)
• Alternated between breaking and accelerating

James – Ran out of fuel after leaving Chernobyl

• Let 30% of air out of tires to increase rolling resistance
• Maximum revs
• Disabled engine management system

Star in the Reasonably Priced Car

James Blunt – 1:49.4 (fw)

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